Olds Quotes

According to Teenage Research Unlimited, 51 percent of 13-15 year olds say they will be faced with making a decision regarding alcohol in the next three months.

Taking Big Bird away from our five year olds, lunch money away from our ten year olds, job training programs away from our fifteen year olds, and college loans away from our twenty year olds is a disgrace.

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

I'm not allowed to celebrate as normal eighteen year olds probably would but I'm going to save it for after the Olympics!

I have an audience that goes from kids to seventy year olds.

You think I'm going to ask these sweet 14 year olds to ask their parents to buy a $100 ticket then run around in latex and lip sync? No way.

If I stay in here until I am 100 years olds, I will still be a man.

For me to go back and to play for audiences some of whom have been following me for thirty years and some who have found me in the last five or six years, that's really an interesting thing. I have an audience that goes from kids to seventy year olds.