Quotes By Scott Adams

The best things in life are silly.

The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn't like you or wants to get rid of you, you're in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don't like you, that's okay.

I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.

The only risk of failure is promotion.

I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.

We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.

In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.

I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw.

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.

One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there's something about that that keeps it fresh to the viewer.

My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.

I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

I get mail; therefore I am.

I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.