Quotes By Scott Adams

My investments have been hurt.

I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.

Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems.

Home is pretty utopian.

The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn't like you or wants to get rid of you, you're in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don't like you, that's okay.

Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.

I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.

The longer you work here, diverse it gets.

Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.

There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation.

The best things in life are silly.

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.

I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.

The only risk of failure is promotion.

I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.

In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.

We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.

I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist , but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.