Quotes By Robert Orben

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.