Quotes By Quentin Crisp

Manners are love in a cool climate.

The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.

I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.

To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.

You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.

It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom.

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.