Quotes By Lily Tomlin

But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

I mean yes to act out something or take chances in the performance is one thing. But in terms of a camera, whatever's captured is captured so that's a little more daunting.

Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war.

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch.

What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.

Remember we're all in this alone.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.

I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

The best mind-altering drug is the truth.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.

Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

The road to success is always under construction.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.