Quotes By Laurence J. Peter

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.

If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.