Quotes By Evan Esar

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.