Quotes By Douglas Adams

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?

If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.

The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

Time is bunk.

If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it.

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.

Life is wasted on the living.