Quotes By David Walliams

Social satire has been around since people have been around.

Children's books are often seen as the poor relation of literature. But children are just as demanding as adult readers, if not more so. I should know. I'm a children's writer myself.

I just want to be happy, have kids, enjoy my life, help others and create some good work.

I'm terribly attention-seeking. It's very different once you get all this attention, though. Because then you want to control it. And you can't exactly.

I've just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired.

I can't see why anyone would want to be in politics because you get so much criticism.

It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland.

I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll.

There's something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process.

I'm not a political thinker, but I've just always thought of myself as a Labour supporter. I was a great fan of Tony Blair. He sent me a letter before I swam the Channel to wish me luck.

I am a huge fan of 'Doctor Who.'

I love wearing drag.

I have a pathological fear of being on my own. When I'm with my own thoughts, I start to unravel myself, and I start to think really dark thoughts, self-destructive thoughts.

I know some of my parents' friends think 'Little Britain' is in incredibly poor taste. But swimming the Channel? You can't really say anything negative about that, can you? There's nothing better than making your parents happy. The glee on my father's face that day was amazing.

We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.

People think writing a children's book is something you could do in an afternoon but it's actually really hard.

When you are doing endurance swimming you just need to take in as many carbs as possible to put on as much weight as you can. Basically you can eat whatever you want, which can be quite fun. Everything is guilt-free.

I was the kind of person who got bullied and loved the attention of it.

I would recommend that anyone who wants to do comedy on TV to do radio first.

I don't know what I'll be like when I'm 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman.

TV has lost a lot of its self-confidence as its power has been eroded by the internet.

I still enjoy my life, and I feel like I've achieved enough things that if I never did anything again, I'd feel confident that I'd still have made my mark in some way. But maybe the self-loathing bit is the element that makes you strive for more. Makes you strive to be better.

I haven't traditionally been a family entertainer.

The one good thing about our school was the Cadets; I chose to be in the Navy, purely for the sailor's outfit. A pity we had to give them back.

It can be difficult to be subtle and not cartoony in prosthetics. But when you see characters like Bubbles and Desiree from 'Little Britain' on screen, it makes all the hard work worth it. It's such fun watching those transformations.

All human life can be found in an airport.

It's a weird thing because I've been single at the time when I've been successful. That's good and bad. Good, because you meet lots of people, bad because your privacy is infringed, so it's harder to develop things.

I've noticed that once you leave London you do kind of become a bit more famous. People in London are a bit too cool for school. It's not so unusual to see someone from London in the street. But outside of London people are a bit more excited to see you and come out and support you.

I don't have a lot to share with other men. My heart sinks when I get into a taxi and someone starts talking to me about football.

I had a very happy childhood, but I wasn't that happy a child. I liked being alone and creating characters and voices. I think that's when your creativity is developed, when you're young. I liked the world of the imagination because it was an easy place to go to.