Quotes By Darrell Hammond

I called my mother up and I said, 'You know, I've been to the best doctors in the world and I've spent almost half a million dollars and they're telling me I have symptoms of a P.O.W. and all I did was grow up in your home.'

I belong to the Democratic Party.

Some of the funniest people I know are not screwed up in the head.

I ran into an extraordinary doctor. He got up inside my head and figured out how my brain processed things, what my core values were, what my inner dialogue was.

The danger with running for president is sooner or later some sound bite is going hit.

I'm not a doctor - so I can't describe flashbacks well - but it is like you're living it again.

I perform in the major leagues of what I do. It's incredible.

I've become fascinated by the idea that it's really achievable to make two or three small improvements in a week and by the end of the year, it's 150 improvements.

I don't know if I want to be a big star though.

I've seen the hell these people go through.

If I can get a sanitized version of reality, I'll take it.

College kids, don't be taking examples from me.

I've learned sometimes you just have to take the bad from people.

Performing with anthrax in the building is not nearly as difficult as performing in a home where you might get stabbed at night.

I had a dad you know.

Everyone always told me that I had the symptoms of a P.O.W.

I'll get to make a lot of money and do some bad sitcoms.

I think I wanted to write a book about the relationship between the victim and perpetrator in which the victim agrees to remain silent.

If you're injured, it changes the way you move. If you're injured, it changes the way you talk.

I was never in a mental institution for a long time. I was in psych wards.

I was diagnosed with everything from schizophrenia to multiple personality disorder.

When I left my parents' home when I was 19, I went to the University of Florida, and within 24 hours was in the mental health department. And within 20 minutes, I was being told by the director there that they didn't have what I needed there.

It's tough to play the right chord on the instrument when there's someone out there who wants to kill you.

I have to give the SNL crew props - it cannot have been easy to work with me.

I'm not sure how a world leader reacts to the work of a clown.