Quotes By Craig Ferguson

I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, 'Well, you're supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.' It's an appropriate feeling to feel.

I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained.

I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?' And slowly it dawned on me that it was maybe worth the risk.

I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck.

It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure.

My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.

I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.

The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.

If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.

I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job.

I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now.

If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone.

I came to America, and I made good. It's an old story, but it hasn't been told in a long time. Usually, it's, 'I'm an immigrant, I came here and got persecuted.' My story is I came here, I worked hard, and it worked out all right. So it's still available.

Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!'

I wanted to be a rock star.

When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.

I'm careful with money.

All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals.

It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy.

Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar.

I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.

There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what's actually, physically, going on.

Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

I used to believe, like many people who come from poor backgrounds, that it gave me an edge, but I think that's just something we have to tell ourselves to get by sometimes. I don't believe that anymore. Children of privilege can be just as talented and clever as anybody else.

The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman.

I am reasonably happy. I didn't find Jesus or anything like that. Part of it is that I just feel that I could go home. I did not feel like that for a long time, but I could go back now.

HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it.

I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host, then I guess I am, but in every other regard I resign my commission, I don't care for it.

I'm crazy. I know I'm crazy 'cause Desmond Tutu told me, and he's very clever. He said, 'You must free yourself, be more of who you are. Be more crazy.' And I'm going to.