Quotes By Colin Quinn

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

I'm not a big method actor. I'm much more superficial.

He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America.

I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.

I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.

Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles.

You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.

Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.

I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.

Everybody's funny in different ways.

My name has zero value.