Quotes By Chris Rock

Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.

Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.

Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.

Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.

Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.

Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.

Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.

You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.

I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack.

Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.

School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.

Pretty girls have problems too.

My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.

George Bush hates midgets.

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.