Quotes By Ben Stein

The people who did the collateralized mortgage obligations, sold them to pension funds, then sold them short, then bought credit default swap insurance on them, are just amazing. They are a law unto themselves.

The human spirit needs to accomplish, to achieve, to triumph to be happy.

Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows.

I don't believe the most successful people are the ones who got the best grades, got into the best schools, or made the most money.

The ordinary American - as far as I can tell - knows so much less than he did fifty years ago and has such poor work habits compared with fifty years ago that the average multiplicand of knowledge/capabilities is a much smaller number than it was in 1961.

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.

I am scared of getting old. I am scared of being ill.

I do all of the grocery shopping in my little family. I buy cheese, of many different kinds, sliced packaged meats and poultry, bagels, immense quantities of eggs, pre-made fried chicken. Milk. Bacon. It is insane how much dairy, deli and bakery stuff I buy.

The America that we knew as the smartest place on the planet is gone with the wind.

I have to tell you I never in my life anticipated getting this old, this fast. It seems as if I were 25 just a few days ago.

The successful people of this world take life as it comes. They just go out and deal with the world as it is.

Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny.

I don't like the sound of all the lists he's making.

Yes, Americans can still get credit for cars and trucks and refrigerators, and those businesses are doing well. But just try to get a home loan now.

Wow, bad news. Mr. Obama now hates Israel because the Israelis want to build 1,600 apartments in their own capital city, Jerusalem. Russia hates Israel, too. So do the Europeans. So does Ban Ki-moon, a Korean who is secretary-general of the UN.

The banks are not lending, at least from what I see. They were so wild and reckless back in the good times that they got burned terribly.

I am so in love with just lying in bed listening to Mozart.

It's really amazing that in the age of unbelief, as a smart man called it, there isn't even more fraud. After all, with no God, there's no one to ever call you to account, and no accounting at all if you can get away with it.

I am so used to having a comfortable life. What will it be like when I am no longer able to just buy anything I want?

We are not supposed to be all equal. Let's just forget that. We are supposed to have equal rights under law. If we do that, we have done enough.

Men and women succeed because they find a field of endeavor that matches their interests and abilities.

A corporation's responsibility is to the shareholders, not its retirees and employees. Companies are doing everything they can to get rid of pension plans and they will succeed.

I am scared of running out of money.

It is so great to sleep in safe, glorious, beautiful America. I just cannot get over it.

If you want to fight the evil you see in finance and industry, get to work reading the corporate filings, see if there has been fraud, and where you find it, report it to the SEC or write about it or blog about it.

My 'thing' is that I just lie in my immense bed and look out the window at the skyline over Virginia and the sky and the airplanes coming into Reagan. I really love doing that.

Sleep makes people calmer, more alert, less fearful - just plain happier, or so I see around me and in me. I am sure that if this great nation were to concentrate on getting more sleep, we would be a happier, more confident people, and that by itself would be a major achievement.

Nothing happens by itself... it all will come your way, once you understand that you have to make it come your way, by your own exertions.

When I seemed to be irritable or sad, my father would quote the learned Dr. Knight, and then say, 'Just go to sleep.' Like all smart aleck kids, I thought the advice was silly. But as I've grown older, I've realized just how smart Knight was.

If there are finer beings than German short hairs, I don't know what they are. In their eyes is peace.