Quotes By Ben Elton

If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.

No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.

People who get through life dependent on other people's possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.

I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it's a risk worth running.

I'm easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.

We've all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that's all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it's just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.

Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I'd never used it. I'm 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.

My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they've read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!

Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.