Quotes By Alexei Sayle

I feel sorry for many politicians... we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not.

As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death.

Most of my friends are women - I quite fancied being a woman in a way.

People used to think I was just a shouty comic but I was doing stuff about Sartre.

I'm distinct, really.

Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like ""Brothers in Arms"" and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git.

I'm still fiercely ambitious.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.

I exist as an annexe of the BBC. I'm down the road a bit from the main building, in a little hut.

Most of the Communists I knew were nice people.

I like the south of Spain, notably for the Moorish influence and the weather.

First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.

I'm sure a psychologist would see something highly significant in how absent-minded I am. I mean I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached to my neck by muscles, ligaments and my esophagus.

Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn't be considered hip.

If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.

If sitcoms were easy to write, there'd be a lot of good ones, and there aren't.

Now, as a comic, if you're vaguely amusing you can go straight into TV, then you play the O2 and then everyone's sick of you.

I'm fascinated by comedy.

I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.

I would say I was still a Marxist - which is not to be confused with being a Communist. Despite its flaws, Marxism still seems to explain the material world better than anything else.

It always seemed to be a constant that my parents were political.

I liked 35 and in both my novels that is the age of the lead characters. I tried making them my age but they just seemed to keep moaning about stuff.

I've been going to Granada for many years and 12 years ago bought a house a few miles outside the city.

However, my problems with my memory are further complicated by the fact that while I don't have any recollection of things I have actually done, I have very vivid recollections of loads of things that I haven't done.

For me, the showbiz memoir is uninteresting - you want to tell people something they don't know about.

People aren't universally heroic.

But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.

If someone starts agreeing with me, I don't like it. Out of pique, I become something else.

I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes.