Quotes By Ray Romano

I'm always giving myself the Alzheimer's test. My shrink told me to do this. It takes one minute. You name every word that comes to mind that begins with the letter F.

You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.

I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.

Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness. 'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.

If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.

People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's not an easy transition from TV to film.

It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

If I'm really considering doing film from now on then that is the smart thing to do, or you can go either way. You can just do the same character over and over again and make a different comedy like over and over again.

The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

I've always wondered, what am I going to do that's important with these stupid jokes that I tell.

I love standup and I haven't given it up.

Each day it's like: 'How many more days am I going to feel young and vibrant? I feel young and vibrant now, but I also feel the aches and pains a little bit.

I still feel like an immature idiot inside, but I look in the mirror and - as a friend of mine once said- this old guy keeps getting in the way.