Quotes By Sarah Silverman

If I have kids, I'll adopt.

I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion.

I'm doing a lot of stand-up, but not like when you're living in New York and you can do three sets a night and it's your life, and you sleep all day and you wake up and you eat with a bunch of other comics and then get ready for the night.

I mean, I love being with friends and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices.

I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it.

Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist.

I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it.

I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.

I never want to be in a position where I have to defend my material. It's too subjective. It's for other people to defend or not defend.

That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.

I can't believe how much time has passed. The first time I did stand-up I was 17, and I was really a stand-up once I was 19 in New York, and now I'm 41, and I still feel like I haven't found myself onstage.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

I really think everything is fair game.

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.

It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.

I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.

I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.

I like my life alone.

And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.

I'm a very ritualistic person. I have to wash my face twice, and on the second wash before I rinse, I brush my teeth, then I rinse, then I floss, then I put on moisturizer. I'm ritualistic. Jewishness is very ritualistic.

I still have highs and lows, maybe I don't cry salty tears as much.

Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.

I'd love to do drama if it was interesting.

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.

By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.

When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach.

I do love the idea of ritual.