Quotes By Ambrose Bierce

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.